This video is actually somewhat old (it's from the middle of the summer), but since no one had ever seen it until today, and the Cubs are in first place, I might as well let you see it.

As you may know, it's a federal crime not to have a beer in your hand when you're at Wrigley, which can make it difficult to catch a baseball thrown to you by a player. Luckily, one hero emerged who figured out that it is possible to catch a major league baseball and get drunk at the same time. Even better, his catch was 10 times more impressive than anything Alfonso Soriano has ever done out in left field.

Word is the Pirates have signed him to a three-year deal. Wise move Pirates, wise move indeed.

[HT: Lion in Oil]

A-Rod's back on the dating scene (did he ever leave it?). I don't know why, but I find this hilarious. [With Leather]

Carlos Quentin for AL MVP. [Fanhouse]

The Timberwolves jerseys are sort of strange. [The Realests]

An attempt to defend BJ Upton's horrible play of late. [Creative Loafing]

Dustin Pedroia now has his own salsa. [The Big Lead]

Ryan Parker attacks the Big-10 in classic musical fashion. [Ryan Parker Songs]

Some Olympic parents are a tad bit too intense. [Joe Sports Fan]

Now that Michael Phelps is done at the Olympics, it seems that NBC is trying its best to piss us off to no end. Some fool at CBS decided that showing events that people would like to see live, like women's gymnastics or the 100m hurdles, should instead be broadcast 17 hours after they happened.

But on the flip side, they made sure that tonight we'll get BMX racing - new to the Olympics - featured live. I tell you, someone needs to be shot at NBC. Immediately.

So, because NBC sucks, and I'm tired of holding off on this information, here's a quick breakdown of what's happened today in Beijing while you were asleep or at work.

Women's gymnastics: Shawn Johnson finally got her hands on a gold medal by beating teammate Nastia Luikin on the women's individual balance beam. As good of an Olympics as Johnson had - 1 gold, three silvers - Beijing was still a disappointment for her, since she was considered by far the best gymnast in the world coming into these Games. However, she's only 16, and could very well come back to compete in London in 2012.

Women's track and field: The top three qualifiers in the women's 100m hurdles were all Americans, and it appeared that the race would be a breeze for Lolo Jones. However, Jones, who looked like a machine in the semis, nailed the second to last hurdle in the final and finished 7th. Fellow American Dawn Harper won gold.

Meanwhile, Sanya Richards, who had a great shot to win the women's 400m, tweaked her hamstring apparently on the stretch run of the race and finished with a bronze.

Women's basketball: The real Dream Team, that would be the USA Women, beat South Korea by about a million.

Men's Wrestling: Henry Cejudo of the U.S. beat Japan's Tomohiro Matsunaga, 2-2 on a tiebreaker and 3-0, for the gold medal in freestyle wrestling at 55 kilograms (121 pounds). Cejudo was born in Los Angeles to parents who were undocumented workers, so somewhere Lou Dobbs is angry.

Regardless of how this season ends for the Dallas Cowboys, it's at least going to be one hell of a ride. The whole team is on Hard Knocks, plus we'll have Pacman, Tank Johnson, TO and Romo mixing it up all season, all while Jerry Jones continues to act like the NFL's version of George Steinbrenner.

But for anyone who paid any attention to last year's team, they should be more than familiar with the fact that Jessica Simpson was pretty much kryptonite in high heels for the team and more specifically for Romo. So, in other words, these next couple sentences should absolutely thrill Cowboys fans to no end.

About a month ago apparently Simpson thought she was pregnant.

The couple were reportedly so thrilled when a home pregnancy test revealed she was expecting a child that they rushed to share their baby joy with Tony's family.

Only problem is it didn't go so well.
 

“There was a huge fight on July 18 at the Romo home. Jessica and Tony thought she was pregnant and happily announced it to the family. The news resulted in dead silence. Then Tony’s dad Ramiro said, ‘You’re not married. This is crazy!’ Tony’s mom Joan joined in, demanding, ‘How can you do this to us?’”

Supposedly what happened was that Simpson read the pregnancy test wrong - which in her case is actually believable. This also pretty much proves that anyone who thinks that Simpson's ditzy blond routine is just an act may be even stupider than she is.

Now, some people might see this as good news, since she isn't pregnant. I guess so. Only problem is that it seems that's exactly where she and Romo are headed.
 

A source adds, “Her friends know she’s feverishly trying to conceive.”

Yep, so there you go Cowboys fans. Might as well just forget about winning the Super Bowl for the next decade.

Jessica tells Tony Romo's family "I'm pregnant!" [Entertainment Wise]

I've never really thought of table tennis as much of a spectator sport, and apparently neither do the Chinese, even though they supposedly love the game.

The problem is that right now over in Beijing the women's table tennis venue is drawing next to no one. So, what do you do to put butts in the seats? Make it sexy, people.


Apparently too many women's table tennis players wear baggy, comfortable clothes. I'll have to take the article's word on that, seeing as I've watched exactly zero women's table tennis during these Olympic Games.

And while I'm all for making table tennis sexier, this seems rather bizarre to me. Isn't the point of the Olympics to win medals, not be a fashion show?

Anyway, I think the solution to this problem is fairly simple. Below is the Chinese women's table tennis team.


They all look like nice ladies (expect for that one guy, at least, I hope it's a guy), but perhaps the International Table Tennis Federation disagrees with me. So how about the Victoria's Secret models instead?


I'm sure Gisele's backhand sucks, but I have a feeling the stands will be packed. Get on it Table Tennis Federation. There's still some time left in these Olympic Games for you to completely sell out.

Table-Tennis women urged to wear shirts with curves. [Yahoo! Sports]